Chapter: 3 / 20
Pairing: Remus/Harry, Ron/Hermione, Remus/Sirius (implied past)
Rating: Um...pg/pg-13 maybe...Don't think it'd be higher than that.
Spoilers: Pretty much anything through OotP. I like to pretend HBP doesn't exist.
Summary: Remus finds something he thought he'd lost a long time ago but refuses to say anything. This is Remus' story. It's good...I just suck at summaries.
Comments? Yes Please.
Archive: Fanfiction . com and my personal site (the one that's not up yet)...if you want it (not sure why you would) please ask.
Disclaimer: I don't own HP or any of the other characters. I'm making no money off of them...just playing for a bit.
1994/1995 - Harry’s Fifth Year
For Remus, Harry’s fifth year was relatively uneventful. It was almost Christmas and, so far, most of his duties consisted of keeping Mrs. Black’s portrait quiet and making sure Sirius stayed in the house.
It was pretty interesting right there before school started. That was when Harry was waiting for his trial. Everyone was on edge and trying to stay upbeat at the same time. Once that was over, everything went back to normal. Or as normal as things could be for magical people.
Since then, he’d been living alone with someone he thought he’d never see again. The time he’d spent with Sirius meant everything to him and as soon as they figured out how to clear him, maybe they could put things back together. Harry would be there for Christmas soon and maybe they could start rebuilding the family they should’ve had.
He was just sitting down at the kitchen table with a mug of tea when he heard Sirius arguing with, what sounded like, George...or was that Fred? Maybe both. Well, one or both of the twins were doing the arguing. Sirius was trying to keep them calm. He reached Sirius just in time to see all the kids run upstairs and Sirius looking rather pale and flustered.
“What’s up?” Remus asked when he got to Sirius.
“Arthur’s been attacked.”
“Dumbledore’s probably telling Molly now.”
“So why are the kids here?” Remus asked.
“Apparently, Harry had a vision of it and told Dumbledore. He went ahead and brought them here so Umbridge couldn’t stop them from coming or something like that. They’re supposed to stay here until the attack is known to all. Then they can go to the hospital.”
“That sounds reasonable. So what was all the arguing about?”
“Well,” Sirius said, turning angry. “It seems that I don’t really care because I don’t do anything.”
“Sirius,” Remus said as Sirius left the room, heading upstairs. Probably to Buckbeak’s room. “Sirius!”
Remus sighed and went back to his tea.
Not to long after, Remus found himself in Arthur’s hospital room trying desperately to protect his ears from Molly’s yelling. Turns out, those stitches they were told about really were as they said and Molly had no problem telling how much she disapproved. Loudly. The kids had wisely snuck out before and he was wishing he could do the same.
When they got home, the kids’ stuff had arrived from Hogwarts. There was no point in them going back for the three days that were left before break started. It also turned out that Hermione was going to stay for Christmas as well. His entire family was going to spend Christmas under one roof for the first time in fourteen years and the only one who knew it was him. With that thought, he went and made himself a cup of tea.
The rest of the year went by uneventfully. He was in the sitting room talking to Sirius when Dumbledore told them that Harry had gone to the Ministry.
“Why the hell would he go there?” Sirius all but yelled as they prepared to leave.
“I don’t know, Sirius,” Remus said calmly. “I’m sure he had a good reason.”
“There is no good reason to take a bunch of friends, leave school which is safe, and go to the Ministry! The Ministry of all places!”
“Sirius,” Remus said, putting his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “You’ve got to calm down, love.”
“Calm down? You want me to calm down? Remus, my godson has put himself in mortal danger and you want me to calm down?”
“He’s my godson too, Sirius. But flying off the handle like this will not do those children one bit of good.”
Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, he realized how pale and worried Remus looked.
“You’re right, love,” he said softly, taking both of Remus’ hands in his. “How are you able to stay so calm?”
“Well one of us has to be,” he said, squeezing Sirius’ hands and grinning. “And everyone knows it won’t be you.
“You know me too well, love,” Sirius said, grinning back. “Probably better than most.”
“Probably so,” Remus said and the grins slowly faded.
“I love you, Remus,” Sirius said, taking Remus’ face in his hands and putting their foreheads together. “I always have and I always will. You know that, right?”
“I do,” Remus said, putting his hands on Sirius’ shoulders and pulling back to look into the other man’s eyes. “I love you too.”
Sirius leaned in and captured Remus’ lips in a simple, sweet kiss that Remus took no time in deepening. When breathing became a necessity, Remus pulled back and took Sirius’ face in his hands.
“Sirius. Promise me you’ll be careful. I can’t lose you again.”
“I promise I’ll be as careful as I can be. But I’m not running, Remus. Not until Harry is safe.”
“I can accept that. As long as we’re both on the same page.”
“Let’s get going.”
Remus nodded and followed Sirius out the door.
At the Ministry, everything happened so fast. When they finally found Harry and the rest, there were already spells flying around the Department of Mysteries. Everything became total chaos. Spells were flying left and right and, at times, it was hard to tell friend from foe. Remus quickly located both Harry and Hermione and tried very hard to keep close to them.
This became difficult when Hermione ran upstairs, so he stuck close to Harry and Sirius. There were plenty of Order members around Hermione. He turned his attention back to Sirius just in time to see Bellatrix LaStrange fire a spell at Sirius that hit him square in the chest and sent him flying backwards.
It was like time was moving in slow motion. “NO!” he heard himself scream, but it was too late. Sirius was flying toward the veil and no one was close enough to catch him. Then he was gone.
It was then that he saw Harry running after him and Remus ran to stop him. It took everything in him to hold Harry back. What he really wanted to do was get Harry out of the way and go after Sirius himself. But he didn’t. He held Harry as tight as he could and tried desperately to keep the tears from falling. He’d lost him again.
The rest of the battle was a blur to Remus and Harry. The most important person in their lives was gone. Again. And he wasn’t sure what he’d do now.
Remus found himself in Dumbledore’s office, staring at some trinket on the desk, but he didn’t really see it. Everyone had been taken care of and somehow he’d ended up here.
“Remus, I am very sorry,” Dumbledore said. When Remus only nodded, he continued. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
“No,” Remus almost whispered. “Thank you, but I don’t think anyone can right now.”
“I lost him, Albus,” Remus said after some time, with tears in his eyes. “I lost him again. I didn’t even...I never...He died without knowing.”
“Yes. I was going to wait until his name was cleared. I waited to long. I should have told him immediately. I...”
“Remus. You cannot do this to yourself. There is nothing you can do now, except help stop the people who are responsible.”
Remus nodded, ran his hands over his face and stood up.
“I...uh...I need to go home. I need to be alone right now.”
“Alright,” Dumbledore said, nodding. “Just remember. You have friends and all of them are there when you need them. Don’t forget that.”
“Thank you. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, dear boy.”
Remus made it home. Well, back to Grimmauld Place which was home now. He fed Buckbeak, then sat down to think. Sirius, the love of his life, was gone. Really gone this time and he was never coming back.
“You promised, Sirius,” Remus said out loud, laying down on the couch and curling up into a ball. “You promised.”
That night, and for some nights later, Remus Lupin cried himself to sleep.
End Chapter 3